I was shocked and saddened to hear of Tim Russert’s sudden passing.  I was in the front passenger seat of my friend Holt Condren’s truck.  We were returning from a morning of rappelling and rock climbing with our oldest sons.  It had been a beautiful morning with a light breeze and highlevel cloud overcast, temperatures hovering in the mid-80’s.

I always liked Tim.  He seemed such an affable, energetic fellow, but there was a depth there than was unmistakable.  The man was pretty incredible.  He had a law degree, had worked on a congressional staff and single-handedly transformed the political pundit scene into respectable journalism.  Though I’ve heard that his personal political beliefs were not exactly in line with my own, he brought a civility and professionalism to the political scene that you don’t get many other places.  He once said that his job was to understand a politician’s positions and then to question and challenge the politician from the opposite viewpoint while never injecting his own personal agenda.

One of the hardest hitting thoughts about his passing was the fact that he had just returned from a trip to Italy celebrating his son’s graduation.  His son is now without a father - and one who so obviously had a lot to give and teach.  That prospect saddens me.  But it goes deeper than that. 

Some say that his sudden heart attack was from diabetes, heart disease and stress.  One NBC insider said that it would take 4-5 men to do the work of Tim Russert.  While that seems to be a noble legacy I can’t help but wonder how much time was lost investing in his own family and children.  Undoubtedly they loved him, but was he so consumed by his work that he missed out on opportunities to pour himself into his children.  I’ll probably never know that answer since I don’t really know the man or the family.

I do know myself and my family.  This whole episode has caused me to pause and take stock in my own investing.  Am I pouring into my children, and specifically my boys, all that I hope to?  Life can be cut short at any moment and I don’t want to regret not having spent the quality time that I could have.  Will it matter in eternity if I don’t get that one last promotion or if I miss one 30-minute conference call?  It won’t.  But it will matter that I failed to nuture my own sons in the way they should grow (see Proverbs).

So, don’t lose sight of the important things in life.  Take the time to embrace your kids and tell them you love them, and then let your words turn into action.  Spend a good quantity of quality time with them (no need to sacrifice one for the other).  Have those hard conversations about the topics that really matter, and let your kids know that you care about them as people and that you want to help them grow into the men/women that God intended them to be.

I pray that Tim’s family will be comforted in their loss, and I hope that we can all take something from this unfortunate passing.

Okay, so that was a bit of a teaser title.  My wife and I took our 7 kids to the movies on Sunday afternoon and we saw Kung-fu Panda.  It was a really funny movie and the whole family had a blast.  I don’t think I’ve laughed out loud in a theater like that in a long time.  The story was fun and the animation was great.  I couldn’t believe the amount of action and the “matrix-esque” slow motion scenes were perfect.  The kids are already quoting lines and acting out different scenes…it’s pretty funny.

There were, however, some poignant scenes in the movie, and there were two of them that really stood out.  The first scene that struck me was at the beginning of the movie when the Panda “Po” is having dreams of being a Kung-fu warrior when he is awakened by his father and told to get to work.  The father is a noodle vendor and he asks Po what he was dreaming about.  Po is embarrased to say Kung-fu so instead he says he was dreaming about noodles to appease his father. 

The father is so excited and consumed with his own desire to have Po take over the “family business” that he fails to notice Po’s sadness.  Even when Po attempts to tell his father that his dreams and ambitions line in other areas the father blindly pushes Po down the path of the family business.

How often do we as fathers do the same to our sons?  We tend to think that our sons are just like us and that we share the same interests and dreams.  Certainly there are instances where this is true, but more often than we would care to admit this is not the case.  Every young man is unique and has his own “map” of Aptitudes, temperment, personality and strengths.  Rather than projecting our interests and dreams onto our sons it is our responsibility to nurture them in their particular “bent” or Nature.  This is most difficult when our son’s core Nature is strong in an area that we are low in. 

If you find yourself struggling to “understand” your son, or you feel that he is resistant to your way of doing things (or seeing the world), then you should step back for a minute and try to understand where your son is coming from.  One good way to do this is to have both your son and yourself take the 3:9 Principle survey.  The personal Maps that are generated out of the survey will help you understand your son’s Core Nature and Core Aptitudes as well as your own.  You can then find Aptitudes you have in common and where your differences lie.  Believe me, this could be a life-changing event in your relationship.

The next scene that I found profound was a scene between the Master and his protege’ who has turned evil.  There is a scene where the two are in a final showdown and the Master says that he has failed the protege’.  It is at this time the protege’ reveals the depth of his anger and dissappointment - he says, “are you proud of me?  All I ever wanted was for you to be proud of me”.  For an instant you see the two empathize with each other and connect…then just as quickly the anger overwhelms the protege’ and he lashes out in violence.   

Have you connected with your son and communicated to him how proud you are of him?  Maybe you haven’t done that recently, or even ever.  It is never to late to make that connection.  Often our differences are what keep us from coming together.

Recently I had a friend go through the 3:9 Principle.  After he had completed the survey and seen his Map he had a “eureka!” moment.  He has two sons, one with whom he readily connects and one which he has struggled to develop a relationship with.  After the survey he realized that he connected with the one some because they had very similar Maps, but the other son had a completely different Map result.  He acknowledged that he had been trying to connect with both sons in the same manner - where his Core Aptitudes were the strongest.

The reality of the situation is that to connect with others we have to adjust our communication and our behavior to meet them in their Aptitudes.  We must overcome our own fears and shortcomings and meet them in their comfort zone.  Just as my friend realized that connecting with his sons meant approaching each in a unique way, so it is true with all our relationships.

The first step is to take the 3:9 Principle survey and discover your own unique Map.  From there you can then develop strategies and plans for connecting to those around you - be it at work, home or in the community.

I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions lately.  Some of the questions have centered around the 3:9 Principle…

  What makes an idea stand out?
  Why are some ideas more memorable than others?
  What is valuable about an idea?

Now there are certainly a litany of answers to these questions.  Some could say the key lies in how profound the idea is…the “wow” factor.  Some may say that it is about the applicability of the idea…the “makes sense” factor.  Some probably say that the universality of the idea is most important…the “global” factor.  I think these are all correct.   In many ways the very concept of the 3:9 Principle validates these statements concerning ideas; what makes an idea stick with one person versus another is highly dependent on their natural bent - “wow” factors point to Heart-centric people, “makes sense” factor points to Hand-centric people and the “global” factors point to Head-centric people.  Ultimately any idea is going to appeal people based on their perspective.

I think the power of the 3:9 Principle is that it can appeal to people regardless of their perspective…or better yet, because of their perspective.  Heart-centrics find the 3:9 Principle as profound and impactful.  Hand-centrics find it simple and tangible.  Head-centrics find it academic and structured.  This universality of appeal makes the 3:9 Principle extremely transferable - it is easily grasped and internalized by the vast majority of people.

What about you?  As you learn about the 3:9 Principle and begin to explore your own mapping, what factor appeals to you the most?  We would love to hear your thoughts on the matter…

There was an interesting article by Tom Musback which was posted Yahoo! Hot Jobs (see attached Word document).  It was a review of a book by Patrick Lencioni titled “The Three Signs of a Miserable Job”.  The premise of the book is that while there are some bad jobs out there, the reality is that any job can be a “miserable” job.  He defined a miserable job as one that makes a person “cynical and frustrated and demoralized when they go home at night”.  It is certainly hard to argue that point!

The question for those of us considering the 3:9 Principle is, “How does our Nature effect our work, or our view of work?”.  Mr. Lencioni placed the burden of our misery primarily on our mangers.  Their lack of interest in us as “people with unique lives” and the failure to help us find relevance in our work is the root of our misery.  While I agree with the fundamentals of his arguement, I think that our understanding of ourselves and our core Nature plays a big part in the equation as well.

For instance, a pastor friend of mine mapped into the 3:9 Principle almost exclusively in the “Heart” nature.  Our natural tendancy is to say, “Of course, after all, he is a pastor…”.  The fact is though, that the correlation to Nature and Occupation is self-driven.  He could have chosen any field to pursue.  Often times life forces us down a particular path regardless of our core Nature.  My friend is actually in the vast minority - he is someone whose work directly lines up with his Nature.  As a result, he is one of the few people who can actually say, “I can’t believe I get paid to do this work!”

For most people, we either do not know or fail to acknowledge our true Nature.  Rather, we are influenced by social, economic or physical circumstances and we end up in an occupation which may conflict, or at best co-exist with our Nature.  When this situation occurs, which I believe happens more often than not, then our perception of our work is impacted.  When we are not working in the area of our Nature we become more easily frustrated, we struggle to succeed or we become apathetic.

This doesn’t mean we need to run out and quit our jobs so we can go back to school (Intellectual) or spend time philosophying about God (Spiritual) and such.  What it means is that we need to find the aspects of our job that play to our Nature.  If someone is highly Relational and works in a technical industry, then it would be in their best interest to find a job that requires interacting with people and building relationships based on trust and like interests.  Each Nature has a particular aspect that can shape the way we approach a job, and no two people will find the exact same formula for success.

If we strive to understand ourselves by finding our unique design and then apply that knowledge to our work, then we will be much more likely to find satisfaction in the job and avoid misery.  As Mr. Lencioni suggests, improving the boss-employee dynamic can significantly reduce the chances of having a miserable job.  Your understanding of your core Nature will not only benefit yourself, but it will also help you in communicating your needs and your strengths to your boss.  That in turn can improve your manager’s ability to help you find relevance and success in the workplace.

So, if you haven’t yet, make the time to find your unique 3:9 Principle mapping and then leverage that knowledge in your work.  You might just be amazed at the difference it will make!

My wife and I celebrated the 18th anniversary of our first date.  We met on a blind date while in college; I was a junior transfer student who had just come to know the Lord, Rebekah was a freshman.  Now, 18 years later, we anticipate the arrival of our 7th child!  I could never have imagined the path God has taken us on all these years, and I certainly never would have thought we would have 7 kids!  I am continually amazed at God’s rich blessings and His faithfulness to give us abundant grace as we need it.

Each new child has brought another incredible glimpse into the creativity, uniqueness and perfection of God’s creation.  It seems impossible that the same two people can bring forth such an amazing variety of personalities, features and temperments.  As Dan and I have been exploring the 3:9 Principle it has given me a new lens for viewing my children.  Each has been so uniquely designed and they each bring such special gifts and talents to the family unit.  I couldn’t imagine any one of them not being in our fold.

The most challenging point facing me at this time is to not lose sight of that uniqueness.  I have 3 incredible boys, yet it is easy to lump them into the same mold - after all, they are mini-me creations right!?  On the contrary, they are each as special and different as snowflakes on a cool winter morning.  They each have their own bent, or Nature, which God has designed in them with a purpose.  My oldest son is a Head-Heart centric kid - he is passionate about his Relationships, and while he loves sports, that interest is expressed in Statistics and Facts.  My second oldest is a mirror image of his older brother whom he idolizes, yet I can already see that he is distinctly different.  As a father it is my responsibility to help train in his “bent” and to point him to his Heavenly Father.

Anticipating our new arrival has strengthened my resolve and desire to better understand myself and my children.  This is also my purpose in developing the 3:9 Principle.  In many ways I anticipate the arrival of our Beta Phase with excitement and expectation just as I anticipate God’s newest blessing.  While my spare time will be limited in the next few weeks with the new baby, I am committed to moving us forward in our pursuit of developing and publishing the 3:9 Principle.  What an exciting journey!

We are getting closer to our goal every day!  We now have 29 surveys in the database and we anticipate several more to come in this weekend.  I wanted to personally thank all of those who have taken the time to take the survey.  The data is proving to be very helpful and we are seeing some really good results.  Ultimately our goal for ALPHA phase is to have at least 40 surveys to evaluate - so we need 11 more participants.

Dan and I have a large amount of work to accomplish in the next few months.  Much of the effort is your basic “blocking and tackling” of getting the business up and running, finishing the ALPHA phase analysis, preparing for our BETA phase rollout and working to complete our publisher proposal packets.  It is an exciting time, but overwhelming at times.  One of the most fundamental components of this journey is setting our VISION.  Recently we had the opportunity (thanks to George Platt!) to hear a great talk on Vision by Andy Stanley.  He had some really good points and I’ve included them below.  They really helped us in our journey to define Faithful Dad and the 3:9 Principle vision.

VISION:
1) State it SIMPLY
2) Cast it CONVINCINGLY
3) Celebrate it SYSTEMATICALLY
4) Repeat it REGULARLY
5) Embrace it PERSONALLY

SIMPLE = Portable - The vision statement will have to be incomplete but memorable.
a) DEFINE the problem, what are you attempting to solve that no one else is solving.
b) OFFER a solution.
c) GIVE A REASON why, and why now.  People need a complelling reason to act.

As a result, the VISION for Faithful Dad, LLC (the parent company of The 3:9 Principle) is:

“Equipping Men for Life’s Journey”

DEFINE:    Men need to be equipped for life.
OFFER:     Faithful Dad has the ability to equip.
REASON:  Life is NOW, men are already experiencing life

The 3:9 Principle is our primary means of accomplishing this vision.  It is our primary equipping tool and is designed to help men with a fundamental area of understanding needed to successfully navigate life’s journey - an understanding of their unique design - their Nature and Aptitudes.

Dan and I are really excited.  We’ve had 12 surveys come in the last three days since rolling out the survey to Men’s Fraternity @ the Summit.  As Dan put it, we can “already see some compelling results here just by eyeballing it!”  We still need around 30-40 responses to get a statistically valid sampling.  Our hope is that we can get the surveys in within the next two weeks.

For those who are taking the survey, please send the link and invitation to anyone you can think of sending it to.  We are looking for a “grassroots” campaign to get the survey responses.  Thanks for your help and support!!

What an exhilerating morning.  I had the opportunity to VERY briefly give a fly by presentation of the 3:9 Principle to our Men’s Fraternity group which meets at the Summit Church on Wednesday mornings.  This was the first opportunity for me to present the concept to a group, so in many ways it was the official “launch” of the survey and the 3:9 Principle.

At this point we are at the mercy of those taking the survey.  Until we have a representative sample that is sufficiently large to analyze we are unable to take the final steps toward completing the 3:9 Prinicple book and training material.  It is somewhat nerve racking to be patient - we have spent so much time and energy getting to this point.  I come from an “immediate gratification” generation and I can’t wait to see if the results validate our premise.

 I wanted to give a special “THANKS” to all the guys from Men’s Fraternity.  It’s been great getting to know a lot of you and it was awesome to have a “safe” place in which to launch this idea/dream.  It definitely took stepping into my fear (per Holt’s urging) to bring this before the group.  I will feel much more confident once we have the results and we are able to scientifically validate our thoughts.  So, I really do appreciate your sacrificing an hour of your time to help us out!  Thanks!

It’s Friday morning and it has been a busy couple of days. While the New Year does bring opportunities for “fresh starts”, it is also filled with playing “catch up” on tasks that were left languishing over the holidays. Dan and I try to meet early on Friday mornings at the San Francisco Bread Company in West Little Rock to regroup on our FDI/39P tasks. We got off to a slower start this morning because our conversation was filled with talks of Mike Huckabee and the Iowa Caucus victory. WOW! It is amazing what he has accomplished in the past 3 months. While totally unrelated, it encourages me for what we might be able to accomplish in the next three months on the 3:9 Principles!

The next few weeks are going to be fast and furious for Dan and I. We both have full-time careers (Dan is in Pharmaceuticals and I’m in Information Management) and unfortunately we both have a full slate of travel and meetings for January. On top of that my wife and I are expecting our 7th child in late February so we are pressed for time on all sides. Dan and I are targeting mid-February for a completed 2-chapter section of the 3:9 Principle book. We plan to have the Introduction chapter and Chapter 1 - Head Centricity completed. We already have all the chapters outlined and a bulk of them fleshed out 50-75%, but we are trying to get the first two completed so that we can pitch the concept to publishers in March-April.

I am always amazed with the dawning of each new year.  So many aspects of life seem to “reset” themselves.  It is an opportunity to put aside the disappointments and missed opportunities of the year past and to look with renewed hope and expectation to the year ahead.  While it is merely a symbolic moment (nothing actually changes with the dawn of New Year’s Day), it is cathartic be able to get off to a fresh start.

 This is going to be a pivotal year for Faithful Dad Ministries and for the 3:9 Prinicple.  We have a lot of momentum built up as we roll into the new year and we are energized and ready to capitalize on our progress.  2007 was a huge year for the 3:9 Principle as we moved from concept to content, and 2008 will be filled with activity as we move from content to completion.

 Dan and I will be blogging regularly about the journey, and we are filled with excitement as we see God continue to reveal His Word and His plans to us.  I’m looking forward to the trip and it will be interesting to see what our reflections will be this time next year!